the story of "i believe"

In November of 2010, Gordon and Christi Butler were blessed with their first child after 12 years of marriage, a little girl named Ivi Grace. Early in 2011, Ivi Grace was diagnosed with craniosynostosis, plagiocephaly and torticollis. All of these conditions are related to the head and neck. The torticollis, which involves constant tilting of the head and a wry neck, has been treated with physical therapy since right after birth and treatment will continue for the foreseeable future. A special helmet called a DOC Band is being used to treat the plagiocephaly commonly known as flat spots on the head. These two conditions themselves are minor in comparison to the craniosynostosis, which is a fusion of the bones of the skull. Left untreated, the condition causes major disfigurement of the head as a child grows, and even worse, the risk of brain damage, major vision impairment, hearing problems and a myriad of other issues, most due to inadequate growth space for the brain. Since Ivi Grace was three months old, Gordon and Christi knew the day would come when her skull would have to be surgically taken apart and put back together. Through weeks of soul searching and asking questions with no immediate answers, Gordon began to have doubts about the strength of his own faith as his frustration came to the breaking point. “I was like, okay God, what now? Where are You in all this? Where is this awesome, mighty God that I lead so many people to worship each week? I just wanted to run out into the street and shout into the sky ‘Where are You?’ But somehow, this thing called faith, the power of Christ living inside of me, it causes me to believe. I mean, I really do, even with all this junk, I believe. I can’t help to believe that God will take care of my little girl and all the other details of our lives, in His way, in His time. Even if it’s not the way I would do it or want it, I know His hand is on our lives. I thank Him for that.”

Gordon wrote the song “I Believe” as a statement of faith for himself alone. Although he never intended for the song to become public, it took on a life of its on. Through the encouragement of another pastor, Gordon told the story of his family’s journey and reluctantly sang the song for his own congregation at First Baptist Church in Hendersonville, North Carolina. Since that moment, many people have called, emailed and written to Gordon, wanting to know where a copy of “I Believe” could be found because of the encouragement it offered in their own lives and trials. After a few months of non-stop requests, Gordon decided to record the song and release it publicly. A friend suggested that any proceeds from the recording go directly to offset Ivi Grace’s medical expenses. God is using “I Believe” to not only bless and encourage others, but to also allow them to have a part in providing the medical care Ivi Grace needs.

Ivi Grace’s surgery was on December 7, 2011 in Charlotte, North Carolina at Levine Children’s Hospital. She has been recovering well. Even still, Ivi Grace’s therapy is ongoing and more surgery is likely in the future. However, God’s strength is sufficient for every need in the Butler’s lives, and in your own. Trust in Him, even if your faith is small and fragile. He is faithful...just believe.

lyrics

so many things out of my control
so many things i don’t know
why can’t i fix this
why can’t i change things
why can’t i be the man i want to be
where is this savior
where is this healer
where is this God i have never seen

i believe even though i don’t know how
i will trust in the future and the now
i have faith though small and fragile be
that You will see me through the storm
i believe

i stand and gaze and long to see the sky
but dark cloudy days refuse the sun to shine
where is this savior
where is this healer
where is this God i have never seen
His ways are greater
His ways are higher
now to His ways i will bend my knee


credits
words & music: Gordon Butler
produced by: Gordon Butler & David Gaines
engineered & mixed by: Hank Lueck
vocals, piano, bass & programming: Gordon Butler
keyboards & programming: David Gaines
guitars: George Vinson
art design: Christi Butler
photography by KQconcepts
kqconcepts.com
recorded at Mission Recording, Asheville, NC
missionrecording.com